The Hero's Dilemma Chapter 5

Raising his weary eyes to meet the sign by the door, Link could scarcely believe that he was standing at the entrance to “Agitha’s Castle” now, after all that had just happened.  The whole city seemed to be in lockdown; had he not re-entered the gate so quickly, the guards would surely have pulled up the drawbridges to make sure he couldn’t return.  Yet Link had acted before anyone had even dared to exit their homes, even the guards themselves.  Looking around himself again, the disgraced swordsman felt slightly reassured that no one had seen him sneak back into town.  Link was very grateful that he was alone for a moment; he dreaded the thought of being treated like a public enemy again, though he knew it really was inevitable if he stayed around town.

Weighing more heavily on the hero than his present reputation was the fact that he had intended to come back here since long before his great mission was complete.  Closing his tired eyes, Link recalled how “Princess” Agitha would think nothing of pouring out money to him for doing nothing more than bringing her a couple of bugs he had found when he was out and about.  It was hardly anything at all for the hero to obtain them; he would have been glad to collect the golden bugs for her as a kind of hobby without asking for any kind of real reward.  Yet this young girl, who appeared to have no parents and no source of income, had believed so strongly that she was somehow the princess of the insect kingdom that she thought she must be wealthy enough to throw hundreds of Rupees at a near stranger just so she could have her “insect ball.”

One thousand, six hundred fifty Rupees.  Agitha had given Link a staggering total of one thousand, six hundred fifty Rupees.  Had the hero known from the beginning that she would have wasted that kind of money on him, he never would have accepted it.  He never would have decided that taking advantage of a girl living in a fantasy world was justified just because he wanted the Magic Armor, or a bunch of water bombs, or a blue potion or whatnot.  There were treasure chests everywhere with more money than Link could possibly have carried; he had to leave Rupees in the chests he found them in countless times because they wouldn’t fit in his wallet.  No…it wasn’t justified, not when there was so much money to be made elsewhere.  Not if it meant bankrupting this innocent girl.  No…that wasn’t what the hero did.  The hero was going to make it right; he was going to pay back every last Rupee, no matter how long it took, where he had to go, or what dangers he would have to face again.  Even if it were nothing more than making up for his own selfish actions, this would be his new mission.

Except…that wasn’t enough.  So Link would give Agitha back her money; would that solve the real problem?  Would she suddenly start using her money wisely?  Would she be able to support herself?  Or was she likely to just throw her money around again however she pleased?  For all Link knew, this self-proclaimed bug princess could give all those Rupees away again right after she received them!  That was of course the central problem: Agitha believed wholeheartedly that she was somehow the princess of the insect kingdom.  As long as she held onto that bizarre delusion, there would be no real hope for her.  She would never get a job because she thought she was royalty.  She would never learn to save up money because she thought she must be rich.  And as attractive as she was already, it was unlikely that she would ever marry someone who would provide for her, since everyone already knew about her mental condition.  At least not a man who cared about more than just her looks…

Wait…her looks…  It was slowly dawning on Link that there was a profession that even the bug princess could do…  She would simply have no choice but to do some kind of work eventually, no matter how much she believed that she didn’t need to.  Whether she would give up her belief that she ruled over the insect kingdom or not, it would become clear to her at some point that she needed to earn some kind of income.  She would naturally do whatever she could with what she had and what appealed to her…but no one would take her seriously if she tried to open some kind of insect-related business.  She would feel forced to use her additional assets to make money for herself, and the few she had all seemed to point in one direction; all she really had to offer was her precocious beauty, her luxurious “castle,” and…her appealing, adult-sized bed.

Shuddering at such a thought, the hero swore that he would never allow such a fate to become of such an innocent young girl.  As pure as she seemed to be now, there was a definite risk that she could go in that direction; she was at least approaching the age where she would develop an interest in boys, and she was probably already there.  Link could easily see her being taken advantage of by someone she had become infatuated with, and that could quickly snowball; given Agitha’s mental state, she could convince herself of whatever she wanted to believe, like that she was married to every man who came to her or something.  There was no question: for the hero to really help Princess Agitha, he would have to not only assist her financially, but restore her sanity.  There was simply no other way.

As he weakly began to reach for the door, though, the swordsman started to wonder what he really could do to bring her back to reality.  Shad’s words were coming back to haunt the hero; he didn’t have any kind of training or experience helping the mentally ill.  He honestly had no idea how he was going to be able to convince Agitha that she wasn’t the princess of the insect kingdom, at least in a way that she would accept.  The problem was that her fantasy world would appear preferable to her over reality in seemingly every way.  In her own imaginary world, she was the regal princess of a beautiful castle, where her glimmering nobles decorated her halls all the more, twirling in an endless dance.  In reality, she was an orphaned girl trying to somehow make it on her own with no income and no skills whom everyone regarded as the village lunatic.  It just seemed to the despondent hero that Agitha would refuse to believe the truth unless there were something in the real world to draw her, something that she didn’t have and didn’t believe that she did.  It couldn’t just be something like money; it had to be something precious, something she couldn’t get on her own, something that would matter to her so much that she would be willing to give up her entire insect kingdom in order to gain.  But the only thing that Link could think of that he was able to give her that Agitha didn’t already have that she could possibly desire that strongly was…


…Love.


…No.  No…  That wasn’t an option.  That would just be taking advantage of her himself.  She would be completely overwhelmed by any young man who paid attention to her who had looks like his, and if she knew he was the savior of Hyrule she would likely be overwhelmed even further.  No…he wasn’t just going to win some crazy girl for himself who needed genuine help and call that heroism.  

Wait…  Except…what if Agitha already was interested in him?…  Link thought back to the way she would look at him as she walked by on the way back to the city after picking flowers; it was almost as though she were saying, “Follow me.”  And there had been times when the hero would go to leave Agitha’s Castle after delivering some bugs to her and feel that her eyes were saying “Please stay…”  Those big, soft gray eyes…perhaps they were betraying…loneliness?  The sadness that being the “bug princess” could not heal, the hurt of not being allowed a normal childhood with a family or friends who cared for her…  Could the hero not share some affection for such a precious girl?  Could he not receive it when he needed it so badly?…

Aaugh…why did Link have to think about love again?!  And even worse, loneliness??  After having put her out of his mind for so long, the hero suddenly found himself longing once more for his precious, inaccessible Princess.  Turning his face downward, Link’s weakness of spirit surpassed even the weakness of his exhausted body.  His dear, beloved Midna…how could he have forgotten her?  How could he have let his search for a new mission, his desire to care for others in need, cause him to ignore the one he cared most about?  Had he really been thinking about giving his love to Agitha instead, the love he had reserved only for her?!  That didn’t belong to some bug princess…but it didn’t really belong to Midna, either.  What did it mean to reserve love for someone who would never be able to receive it, anyway?  Didn’t that release him?  Couldn’t he pursue a girl of his choosing?  What sense was there in waiting the rest of his life for a woman he knew he would never have??
  
Raising his head to face the doorknob again, Link began to reach for it again when he stopped himself once more.  There was still one conceivable way…  He was still the hero, even if he had made a troubling misstep recently.  There was still the possibility that the same goddesses who had brought him through countless dangers of every kind might yet relent and reunite him with the princess of Twilight.  They had been the hero’s guardians, the ones who would keep him alive and set his feet on solid ground whenever he would fall off a cliff, breathe poisonous gases, or even fall into molten lava; surely they could still be trusted.  It had been quite a long time since he had made this plea to them to be returned to his love, or truthfully since he had even acknowledged them at all, and so the savior of Hyrule took some time to offer up his prayers…


Ohh…  How badly he had needed that.  It felt as though he had somehow become both stronger and weaker through that connection with the goddesses, yet weaker in a way that he could accept.  The fatigued hero yearned to spend far more time in prayer, but he realized that this blessed solitude could not last much longer on this city street; it was amazing that it had lasted this long already.  Perhaps the goddesses were to thank for letting him be alone all this time, but the guards weren’t just going to wait around until Link either left the city or finally stepped into Agitha’s Castle.  He hated stalling so much, but…now that he had chosen not to give up on Midna, he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to help Agitha, or if he should even try.  Would he really be able to convince her that it was better to step out of her fantasy world into reality without the motivation of his affection, when it would have been hard enough just to bring her back with it?  And what if love turned out to be exactly what she was looking for?  Would he end up having to tell her that he had to turn her down just to stay loyal to a woman from a world she had no idea existed whom he might never see again?!  That could drive her crazier than she had ever been before…


The sound of men’s voices not far away suddenly brought the swordsman to attention.  Turning his head to the left, Link thought he could make out the words, “down this back road.  The other platoon will meet us at the main road, and then we’ll rendezvous with the rest at the central square.”  The distinct, progressively louder sound of marching from that direction brought a look of great concern to Link’s face, which turned to sheer horror when he realized that he was about to hear it coming from the other direction.  He was about to be surrounded!!  The soldiers would never let him escape a second time!  They would either take him into custody and throw him in prison or kill him right then and there!!!

Immediately, Link opened the door and just barely kept it from slamming behind him.  Breathing hard but still trying not to be too loud, the terrified Hylian’s heart was pounding against the door.  He was safe…he was safe…he was…safe.  Yes…they weren’t coming inside the houses.  They were just…making sure the streets were clear…  Yes.  Link held his breath as best he could as he heard the guards march by, but still exhaled before he wanted to.  Trying to catch his breath again, he realized he was also hearing Agitha climbing down her ladder from the second floor.  Well, he thought, if he was going to try to help her it was now or never.  There was no way he was going back outside for a long time and he needed to give some kind of explanation why he was there, so it looked like the decision had been made for him.

“Greetings, brave knight.  It has been quite some time since Princess Agitha has had the honor of your presence in her castle.  What has brought you here this fine day?”

Stifling a grimace at being called a “brave knight” after just having run in there to escape Castle Town’s pathetic guards, Link thought quickly to try to come up with some kind of explanation that wouldn’t offend her.  “Uh, I am honored to be welcomed once more to your presence as well, milady.  …I have returned to continue in your service.  Having been truly blessed by your Highness’ great generosity, it has occurred to me that it would be most unfitting for a lowly servant to be rewarded for his actions so greatly that he should contribute to any form of hardship for the kingdom.  Should such a thing be the case, I would desire to work toward restoring the economic well-being of the kingdom.  My reward shall be only to see milady’s continued prosperity.”

“Your promise of such service is most honorable and most welcome, noble one.  Indeed, the royal coffers have become relatively bare of late.  Your contributions shall be most gratefully received.”  Turning to face as many of the golden bugs crawling and flying around as she could at once, Agitha declared, “Let us all show our appreciation to the benefactor of our kingdom; let us all make him feel welcome here.”  A warm smile and a curtsey later and the bug princess set herself to work preparing tea and crumpets for Link and herself, inviting him to make himself comfortable in the meantime on the couch nearby.  Thanking her for her hospitality, Link thought about just how grateful he really was to be able to finally relax on something so comfortable.  Settling himself down, the tired hero thought about where he needed to go from here.  As far as Agitha went, the situation wasn’t as dismal as he feared it might have been.  The fact that she had the clarity to realize that she was in financial trouble meant that she was not totally out of touch with reality, and it was extremely fortunate that she accepted Link’s offer to bring in extra money; he would have had no clue what to do if she had turned him down.  On the other hand, she also could have been closer to reality than she was right then.  Although she loved that Link was willing to help her (financially, at least), she also loved “ruling” over her insects and seemed to be taking no notice at all to the fact that they had no comprehension of what she was telling them to do.  Perhaps the girl would respond favorably if he pointed out little truths that she could easily recognize as true, and build on those?...

If that were the direction he was supposed to go, though, Link thought he had hardly started out the right way.  It was disgusting that he had just bent over backwards to accommodate her delusion by referring to her “kingdom” and calling Agitha “your Highness.”  If he had known that she would have been so eager for him to start giving her money, he would never have entered the fantasy world that she ruled over.  He wouldn’t have been rude; he would have shown that he cared about her and that he wanted to help her, but he wouldn’t have been walking on eggshells to prevent offending her.  He wouldn’t have been such a coward.

Deciding that his great fatigue and the fact that he probably wouldn’t get to rest on anything this soft and comfortable for a very long time gave him some leeway, Link let himself slump down onto the couch and pull a pillow up to his head as he dwelled on that shameful title: a coward.  That was exactly what he had become.  Being scared to death of those worthless soldiers?!  Being too afraid to breathe when they walked by outside?!  Even being afraid of this little girl who needed his help?!?  He had never even met anyone that cowardly!!  The hero of Hyrule just couldn’t be that weak!!  Maybe it could be honorable to be weak toward the goddesses, but there was nothing honorable about being weak toward other people!  Where was that Triforce of Courage when he needed it, anyway?!  How could it just DIE?!?

The confused, concerned girl’s question about why Link was crying caused the former hero to realize that he hadn’t been able to hide his tears like he hoped he had.  Unwilling to tell Agitha that he thought he had become a pitiful coward, he decided to tell her about a different problem that he knew was contributing to his moodiness.  “…I am sorry.  I didn’t want to bring this up earlier because I came here to help you, but I am horribly tired.  Over the past week I have had extremely little sleep, and that’s taken a great toll on me.  I really haven’t eaten anything, either…”

“WHAT???  You haven’t eaten or slept for a WEEK?!?  You could DIE if you keep that up!!  No, I’m not letting that happen!!  Not to someone who wants to help me!  I’m giving you all of the crumpets.  No, I’ll make you a huge meal!  Oh, but first I should get you up to my bed; you shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch!  Wait, no, you’re too tired to climb up the ladder!  No, this is the best I can do.  I’ll go up and bring you down my big pillow, though!”

Scurrying up to the second floor and back down with her big bed pillow, Agitha wasted no time in starting to whip up a hodgepodge of every vegetable and every piece of meat she could lay her hands on.  Link couldn’t even tell what kind of meal she was making, but that really didn’t matter to him.  It wasn’t even that he was finally going to be able to feed the hunger that he had so long suppressed; it was that this girl was doing all this for him.  Agitha, the one who the hero had come to pull out of a desperate situation, the one who was supposed to believe that she was royalty and didn’t need to do any kind of work, was throwing herself into a flurry of activity, convinced that she was saving Link’s life through her efforts.  As she called out to him to try to fall asleep and that she would wake him when dinner was ready, the exhausted swordsman just couldn’t quite obey; as heavy as his eyelids were, he couldn’t seem to keep them closed when this precious girl he now wanted to squeeze so badly was right there in front of him.  Right then, the hero didn’t know or care who was going to be helping who.